progress

Created by MyFitnessPal – Calorie Counter

3/27/09

Calories in: 1521

Calories burned: ??

So I just realized that I forgot to post last night!  Yesterday was a pretty unremarkable day; stayed more or less in my calories.  I had great plans for exercise but my energy simply wasn’t there, so I did my 10 minutes on the elliptical and packed it in for the day.  I am okay with that – I would love to burn a good chunk of calories every day but I have to be realistic about it.  Earlier this year I was hitting the exercise HARD every day and did great – up until the point where I totally burned out, crashed, and didn’t move a muscle for the next five weeks.  I guess it’s far better to have a moderate amount of exercise a few times a week on a steady basis than to go in cycles of working hard then crashing.  Slow and steady is good.  Listening to my body and being okay with its need for rest is good.

Also played basketball with my nephew for 20 minutes or so but I’m reluctant to count that as exercise at all.  But it was activity and I’m aiming to work more and more of stuff like that into my days.  I’ve lacked the energy for stuff like that for so long.

3/26/09

Today’s calorie intake: 1484

Calories burned through exercise: ?? (myfitnesspal says 397 but I don’t trust it)

Net calories: ??

Today was stressful all the way around.  Work was stressful.  Home was stressful.  Normally a day like this – heck, even days a fraction as stressful as this – and I’d be stuffing myself with ice cream and donuts in order to cope.  Today?  Stress kicked in and all I wanted to do was grab my running shoes. 

Before I took a hiatus from exercise I was doing the couch to 5k running plan; I was on week 3.  It’s been a good five weeks since I’ve done pretty much any exercise and I know my fitness level has dropped considerably in that time (not that it was that high to start with).  So I planned on starting the c25k over again with week 1; but when I got on my treadmill I realized I had forgotten to swap out the podcast on my iPod and only had week 3 loaded.  So I gave it a try and I DID IT all the way through, which I am extremely pleased with – BUT it totally kicked my butt and I’m not eager to try it again.  I think I’ll drop back down to week 2 and stick there for a week or so until I start to get some endurance back.  I think I was pushing myself too hard.  So that was 9 minutes jogging, 15 minutes walking, for a total of 24 minutes.

And I did 10 minutes on my elliptical.  That’s my limit right now and it kills my legs even at my cheapie machine’s lowest resistance.  I used to be able to walk into the gym and do an hour straight complete with different resistances and such; granted I was slimmer then but probably only by 30 – 40 pounds.  I wonder if I’ve really gotten so far out of shape or if my machine is different than the ones at the gym.  I don’t remember it making my legs burn so badly.  Maybe I’ve lost a lot of muscle in my legs since then.

I want to aim to get my legs built up to where I can spend meaningful amounts of time on the elliptical.  I want to use my 10 minutes as a base and try to add 5 minutes every week until I’m up to 45-60 minutes a session.  The way the thing totally burns my legs, I can see it totally sculpting and toning my lower half nicely if I stick with it.

EDIT: I’m noticing a trend of being motivated to exercise at night.  More exercise: I did week 1, day 1 of the 200 Sit-Ups challenge, which didn’t amount to many situps at all but the fact that I could do the ones I did rather amazed me.  I haven’t tried full on sit ups in so long because I guess I assumed I couldn’t do them.  I feel rather motivated to kick this challenge’s butt now!

Then I got out the Wii Fit and did 10 minutes of adv. hula hoop and the 5 minute adv. step.  I feel absolutely awful now, not at all energized like I felt after the elliptical and the treadmill.  I pushed too far, not that I worked out particularly hard at the end but I kept going after I should have quit.  I’m exhausted and sore and I just want to crawl into bed.  I think it’s going to be a challenge, to find that optimal place where I get the most out of my motivation without overextending myself.  That’s rather why I want to keep the heart rate monitor I ordered, not to track my calories as I originally intended it, but rather I can make sure I stay in my target heart rate and not work out too hard, so I don’t end up hitting a wall like this for having delepted myself.

gadget crazy

This is rapidly becoming an obsession.

I just ordered a GoWear Fit system thinking that I could cancel my heart rate monitor order but it was too late to cancel so I’m going to have both devices arrive next week.  I know I need to send one or the other back but I’m tempted to keep them both.

I was sold on the GoWear Fit because you wear it nonstop and it tells you how many calories you’ve burned all day, not just during exercise like the heart rate monitor; also it functions as a pedometer and tracks your sleep, which was the deciding factor for me because sleep is a huge issue for me and I’m really curious to see how much I’m actually getting.  I also like the idea of wearing it all the time, because let’s face it, I’m lazy, and the thought of having to strap on the heart rate monitor every time I want to exercise worries me because a lot of my exercise is of the spontaneous ‘hey I may as well hop on the elliptical in my work clothes for ten minutes since I’m bored’ variety and not of the ‘let’s get dressed up in all this fitness gear and really work out’ variety.

It ended up being far more than I wanted to spend and there is a monthly fee to access their website (which logs your data) BUT I considered that against the cost of a monthly gym membership, or weekly Weight Watchers meetings … comparatively, it’s not so much.  Hopefully it’ll be worth it.

I also hope it’s accurate enough.  I’ve been thinking a lot about it and there’s no real way of knowing if what I’ve calculated as my daily calorie usage is anywhere near accurate.  I chose ‘sedentary’ when setting it up because I work a desk job, but there are so many different shades of sedentary, you know?  There’s a difference between someone lying on the couch watching TV all day and someone working at a desk and getting up several times an hour to go down the hall to the copy machine.  The ‘one size fits all’ approach scares me because I’m basing my calorie intake according to some average that someone out there has formulated, not basing it on what my own unique body and lifestyle requires.  I would love it if this thing turns out to be fairly accurate and gives me a trustworthy idea of what my calorie needs really are so I can get this down to an exact science.

I also really want a Nike + kit for my iPod.  I’ve never been interested in fitness gadgets but now suddenly I’m all over them.  The Nike + would be something I’d buy more out of curiosity than anything because I know that the distance display on my treadmill is WAY off, but it wouldn’t be that functional because I’ve never focused my workouts on distance anyway.  Still, I want one; especially if I start running again.

I hate to be spending all this money right now, but I need to take action and I need the best tools and the best information I can get in order to make this process work.  And if this stuff keeps me motivated to stay on the diet it’ll save me money in the long run on fast food and junk anyway.

3/25/09

Today’s calorie intake: 1420

Calories burned through exercise: ???

Net calories: ???

Argh!  I spent ten minutes on the elliptical machine (not much at all, I know, but all I was motivated to do, and at least it was a start) and I plugged it into the exercise diary at myfitnesspal.com – which calculated it at 162 calories burned, which seemed way high.  So I went to caloriesperhour.com and calculated it there, and it gave me a total of 42 calories.  The elliptical machine itself said 80 calories.  I have no idea which to believe.  Lol!

So I have gone and ordered this:

It won’t be here until next week so I’m stuck in limbo for a while more, but at least I’ll eventually be able to calculate my calories burned based on my body’s own performance and not some random average estimate.  I really want to get the science of this down so I’m not eating too much or too little.  Hopefully this becomes an invaluable tool for me and not something that gathers dust, lol!  But I’m hopeful that being able to see my calorie burn on my wrist as I work out will be motivating; I can see myself hopefully setting goals to meet X amount of calories or beat yesterday’s total or whatever and I think that will be good for me.  I’m really looking forward to its arrival.

I had a hard time meeting my minimum calories today.  I had a dentist appointment and came back feeling shaky and sick and had to force myself to eventually eat lunch.  I wish I’d been able to get more exercise in – but – given how I’ve felt today, I think I’ve done pretty well overall.  Not a bad start, at any rate.

EDIT:  Wow, where did that second wind come from?  I just spent 30 minutes on the treadmill at a pretty good (walking) intensity and I feel totally energized now.  Again with the calorie confusion though; MFP gave me 205 calories when I logged it but the treadmill says 147 calories (although it’s not programmable so that’s for a generic person presumably at a healthy weight, not for *me* exactly).  I don’t plan on eating those exercise calories tonight so I guess it doesn’t really matter, but gosh I’d love to KNOW!

MFP says I burned 367 calories today, without a whole lot of planning or effort; more than the 300 I figured I would have to burn in order to push my net calories down to 1200 if I aim to eat 1500 calories a day.  So maybe this won’t be as hard as I thought it would be!  I just hope that my heart rate monitor supports these calorie figures and doesn’t tell me I’m really burning some pathetically low number, lol!

calorie needs

So I’ve been playing around with the calorie counter at http://www.myfitnesspal.com tonight and I’m getting so frustrated, thinking in circles. I plugged in everything I plan to eat tomorrow – my usual breakfast and snacks, the lunch I already packed for work, the dinner I have planned on my menu.

In WW Points, I would have counted all this at 24 Points, which is 5 below my daily target of 29.

In calories, it’s 1483, or 273 higher than what I would need to keep my intake to in order to lose 2 pounds a week.

 In order to keep with the WW directions to eat enough to keep my body fueled I would have to come up with another approximately 250 calories worth of food; in order to come up with what the calorie tracker says I should eat, I would have to eat approximately 250 fewer.  That’s a 500 calorie discrepency between the two plans.  What the heck??

I came up with my calorie figure by finding a calorie needs calculator online; for my height, weight, age and level of activity it gives me a figure of 2210.  That’s what my body needs to sustain itself at this weight.  But I don’t want to maintain this weight; in aiming for a steady 2 pound a week loss, I would need to eat 7000 calories fewer each week than my body needs, or an average of 1000 a day.   So, 2210 ( 1000) = 1210; this is the amount of calories I would need to take in each day to achieve that loss.

1210 seems so low to me, especially for my size.  I worry about hitting the dreaded starvation mode, if my body is getting so few calories that it fears letting go of fat.  I also worry about losing nutrition if I cut any of the foods in my meal plan; as it is now I’m getting plenty of fruit, veggies, dairy, protein and fiber; if I start chopping foods out of my plan, I’m sacrificing some of that carefully thought out nutrition.  I really don’t want to have to do that, at least not at this point.

But then, exercise needs to be a part of this equation.  I have to factor in the calories I burn during exercise into calculating that net calorie count for the day.  The problem is, I’ve been SO flaky about exercise lately that I hate to count on it, because I can’t trust myself to follow through.  Ideally I should be able to eat around 1500 calories and aim to burn 300 in exercise so I land at my 1200 NET calories for the day, but I’m scared of this.  Even if I do get my exercise mojo back, I won’t necessarily burn that many calories every day; I’m really unsure of how to factor for that. 

I don’t know what to do.  Weight Watchers was working – when I stuck to the plan, which wasn’t often lately – so I know that my body CAN handle more calories and still lose.  And the WW Points system took into account the fact that you don’t digest certain calories from fiber and gave a break for that … I’d be willing to bet that between all the veggies and whole grains in my eating plan, I’ve got quite a bit of wiggle room from undigestible fiber that isn’t apparent when you’re just looking at the calories.

I think … ugh!  I hate this … I think I will aim for 1400 – 1500 from food and try to get as much exercise in to offset that as possible … and see where I land in a few weeks?  If I find I’m not losing I can always tweak the plan.  For now … like I said, WW was working so I’m scared to cut almost 500 calories out of my day from what I was eating … I fear hitting a plateau.  1500 calories, without any exercise, would leave me with a 710 calorie deficit, which would be 1.42 pounds a week lost if it were a matter of pure math .. which it isn’t, I know, but still.  That’s a bit less than I really am hoping for, but that’s just another reason to get some exercise in, to help close the gap.

So … 1400 – 1500 daily intake with as much exercise as I can get my lazy butt motivated to do to push my net calories down as far as I can go.  That’s the plan for now – go!

starting over

I can’t believe I’m doing this, but I’ve made the decision to delete my backlog of posts and start anew with this journal.

I’ve hit, if not a roadblock, then a series of speed bumps in my efforts to lose my spare poundage. Lately it’s been such a struggle. I haven’t exercised in just a few days shy of a whole month. I’ve been eating too much and grazing nonstop. I’ve grown careless in tracking and have been letting things slide altogether too much. This simply isn’t working for me.

I’ve been doing Weight Watchers off and on for a very long time, but lately I’ve been toying with the idea of switching to purely counting calories. WW is wonderful but it’s too flexible for me, as absurd as that may sound. I’ve grown too adept at manipulating the system, and lately I’ve begun to worry about all the zero point foods and the things that get rounded down or not counted at all because it’s just a bite here and a taste there that are probably adding up to major calories. I’m going to start using a calorie tracker tomorrow and see if I see better results with that. I have three weeks left of my WW paper journal so I’ll keep tracking points alongside the calories and give it those three weeks to see if I’m ready to let go of the Weight Watchers system. I’m kind of scared by that; I’ve been doing it for so long that it’s so easy and comfortable and natural. But maybe that’s the problem; it’s too effortless by this point, and I’m not required to put any thought into it anymore.

I’m also going to go back to basics. Everything I eat is going to be weighed or measured out first, so I’m certain of my serving sizes and confident that I know exactly how many calories are going into my body. No more being sloppy and careless about what I put into my body and no more mindless grazing out of the cupboard as I go by. Maybe it’s crazy but I’m actually kind of excited about this, intrigued by the idea of breaking this down into pure science, of calories in vs. calories out. I’m hoping too that if I’m truly mindful of the math I’ll be less likely to graze, because I’ll be able to see the real impact of those extra calories I’m sneaking in rather than seeing it in the nebulous terms of being some random fraction of a WW point.

Along with this change I’m implementing a major change in the way I eat; I’m cutting way back on sugar, white flour and processed foods and am aiming to cut out HFCS and artificial sweetners as much as I can, putting an emphasis on whole grains, fresh fruits and veggies, and lean protein and dairy. This is not something I’m doing on a whim; this is a change that I’ve been slowly pondering, culling information and resources and slowly working towards equipping my kitchen for for many months now, and I simply feel like it’s time. I don’t expect to be perfect at this, but my old way of eating just had too many nutritional black holes in it and I just feel like I can’t do that anymore. If I’m limiting the food I’m taking in AND expecting extraordinary things of my body on the exercise front, then it’s important that every calorie I take in count for something.

Lastly, I’m approaching this blog differently in two ways. One, when I was journaling here before I was so worried about creating meaningful and polished posts and not boring people with the day to day details. But you know what – it’s MY blog and it’s only a useful tool as far as it works for me; and what I really need right now is a place to talk about the day to day details so that I stay mindful and present in this process every day. So maybe I’ll drive people away who don’t want to hear about what I had for lunch today or whatever but that’s okay; I’m doing this for my benefit first and foremost and I just have to use it in the way that will help me best without worrying about what anyone else thinks, even if it results in a blog that’s boring and unmeaningful to anyone else.

And two – and this is going to be hardest of all for me – I need to back off on all the tracking and charting and everything that I was doing before. I had my progress charted and graphed and my daily exercise logs laid out in a table and weekly and montly posts outlining goals and detailling results and … it just needs to stop. I NEED to break away from that mindset, as hard as it’s going to be for me to make that change. No more; I need to bring this process back around to something that’s going to be comfortable and sane for the long haul. If this is truly the lifestyle change that I want it to be, then I need to be less uptight about filling every slot in some chart or meeting some self-imposed deadline than about simply making things balance. I want to take the emphasis off of racing towards some imaginary finish line and make it more about eating well more days than I eat poorly and exercising more days than not; and while I will still weigh myself on a regular basis to stay mindful I want to get away from the ‘weekly weigh in’ mindset of beating myself up for not losing enough in any arbitrary seven day period, but rather focus on and be thankful for a gradual downward trend, even if it doesn’t get me where I want to be as fast as I think I should.

I know this is a lot to tackle all at once but I honestly am ready for a change.